Unconditional
It has been two years since I broke up with my most serious boyfriend. It has been two years since I felt like I was worthy of being loved unconditionally. Two years ago I broke his heart.
Let me back up a bit. We had been best friends for about nine months before we made it official. We were interracial. It was complicated. But we got through that. We talked about being together long-term. We even talked about the hypotheticals of marriage, family. His heart was one of the kindest I’d ever known. He was devoted. Loyal. Generous. And he knew how I needed to be loved. Unconditionally.
I loved him. The problem was that I wasn’t sure I was in love. I cared about him deeply. He still reigns as one of my top ten favorite people I’ve ever been lucky enough to meet let alone know. I still consider him one of my best friends of all time. I’m fortunate that he still considers me one of his.
I talk to him about once every month or two to catch up. Mom says I shouldn’t… but he insists that he wants what is best for me and just wants to stay in contact. Maybe Mom and Dad are right when they say he’s trying to stay close enough to be let back in someday. Maybe he is… maybe part of me finds some comfort in that.
To be continued…
November 19th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
[...] spoke to my ex of two years. We’ve been broken up for a little over two years as well. Despite a tumultuous breakup, we’ve moved past it and are now amicable. I adore him. The problem was that I was not able to [...]