Dating Outlook

The game. Ah, yes—it took me a bit to catch on this time around. I really should know better. I think back to a little over a year ago when I was dating someone who I was into at first… then lost interest, but continued to see him …maybe it was out of boredom or out of the fear of having no one to kiss; I’m not sure.

We still did fun things together, so I justified it thinking “I have nothing better to do, so why not, right?� Besides, he was the one insisting that he was going to law school in the fall and our relationship was “just for fun.� I guess I took his word for it and was on the fence throughout the entirety of the relationship. It seems like “one foot in, one out� is the best way to play.

Once I made a conscious decision to be more passive about the whole thing—because come on, I have half a brain. We talked about it—we weren’t going to go anywhere, we were just “having fun.� Or so I thought. It’s as if he had to compensate for my passivity and therefore went into “hunter� mode. He began to call more often and suddenly wanted to take me out more often and show me a good time.

Then he began mentioning that his mom had asked about me (His mom knew about me?!), or how he had planned for me to meet his sister. His what? I thought this was “just fun?�

He was a smart guy; he knew what was going on. On several occasions he’d even say to me, “you’re playing your cards exactly right.� Just right enough I suppose, to keep his interest. That was, until I decided it wasn’t right for me and finally ended it.

We all have our own versions of the game. I’m in the middle of one right now it seems. It took me a little longer to figure it out this time because I guess there’s a shred of genuine interest left in me. Unfortunately, sometimes liking someone clouds our perspective of what’s “real� and what’s “just fun.�

We think, “It’s better than nothing.� It’s sad that’s what it comes down to—comparing “not-quite� relationships to being “better than nothing.� Especially when maybe it’s not better… maybe “nothing� with a clear perspective is the gateway to a much more real “something.�

In any case, I am almost to the point of deciding this is just not right. Maybe just one last kiss… I can play games too (wink).

xx

Sandy