Strange Date Tuesday!
I checked out 50 Dates Worse Than Yours by Justin Racz from the library last week and it has given me quite the laugh. I decided that I’d share two of my favorite bad dates with ya’ll! (BTW, if you’re lurking & reading, let me know!)
#14. Passover
The Date: the holiday requires Jews to open their doors to all those who do not have a place to celebrate Passover. All his older brothers & sisters are married, so you better look good.
Location: Gramma Bubbe’s stuffy one-bedroom apartment in Queens.
He said: “Why is this night different from all other nights? Because you look Jewlicious.”
She said: “Why is your grandmother crying?”
Best part: When he preemptively called you his girlfriend and kissed you on the cheek.
Worst part: His gefilte fish breath.
#41. She Didn’t Shut Up
The Date: To avoid any awkward silence, she spews forth a run-on sentence comprised of commentary about her life so far, a recitation of the menu, her great ambitions, and the haunting traumas of her upper-middle-class family.
Location: Unfortunately, a very quiet restaurant.
He said: “Uh-huh. Yeah. You don’t say. Hmm. Uh-huh.”
She said: “… which is when my parents got divorced which likely resulted in my other brother Jason dropping out of college to join an ashram where he got addicted to black tea and then got involved in an herbal products pyramid scheme which brings me back to my point that …”
Best Part: The brief moment she choked on a carrot.
Worst Part: When the waiter knew the Heimlich maneuver.
dates, 50 Dates Worse Than Yours, Justin Racz, dating humor
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