Pessimistic Optimism Part II: Assume
Growing up, my dad always told me, “Never assume or you’ll make an ass out of “u� and me. My dad is a wise man. In my experience with dating, I’ve been more than guilty of making assumptions. Granted, the majority of those assumptions err on the side of pessimism. It’s hard not to make assumptions.
When a guy I’m talking to regularly (read: several times during the week) says he wants to see me on the weekend and ends the conversation with “see you in a couple of days,â€? or “see you tomorrow, then,â€? I am going to make the assumption that we’re going to see each other in “a couple of days.â€? Am I foolish or naïve to take him for his word? “Probably,â€? I tell myself, given his flaky tendencies in the past. Do I have unrealistic expectations? I’m beginning to think so. On more than one occasion –due to whatever the circumstance—I’m left confused when nothing comes of the tentative—and I use this term loosely—“date.â€?
Maybe it’s a regional thing and I’m just having a tough time coping with the “laid back� attitude of some Californians. Let me rephrase that, one Californian. Or maybe he’s just not that into me—or at least, not in the way I need him to be. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised anymore. Actually, I’m not… surprised anymore, that is.
Dad’s absolutely correct. Assumptions set someone up for one of two things: disappointment or a false sense of what may be true and real. I can’t help it, some things must be assumed. Unfortunately, from now on, forever erring on pessimism, I’m going to assume his word means nothing.
xx
Sandy
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