Dating Outlook

It seems every time I turn around, somebody has “someone in mind� for me. Matchmaker after matchmaker can’t wait to share the good news about how she’s found “the one� for me. In “Dating for Dummies,� Dr. Joy Browne elaborates on the good and the bad about being set up.

“The less strange the stranger you’re finding to date, the easier and more comfortable the early stages. People you both know and trust are a great bridge. Whom can you trust more than your friends, your mom, or your ex (assuming that you two are still friendly)?

Friends: Fix-ups are good news/bad news. On the good side, your friends presumably wouldn’t fix you up with Jack (or Jackie) the Ripper and they probably know you well enough to know what you like. On the bad side, they would want to know details, may choose sides, and will likely be miffed if you don’t treat their friend right, don’t come up with the details or don’t spend as much time with them as you used to because you’re seeing the friend. All things considered, fix-ups are often worth the risk of somebody knowing your business, especially if your friends are perceptive and know cool people.�

So far, my friend fix-ups have been discreet and have actually been pretty decent matches—good looking, usually good personalities…no long term potential yet but nobody’s ruling it out…

“Exes: Allowing your ex to fix you up with someone can be a bit dicey (after all, an ex with an ax to grind can come up with a doozy of a loser). On the other hand, who knows ya, baby? Whether you agree to such a fix-up or not probably depends on the comfort of the break0up. If it was super icky, you’re probably not speaking anyhow. But if your ex is still a friend and other signs seem right, go for it. If your split-up was marked by scream fests and flying fur, and you still refer to each other as “The Bitch� and “The Bastard,� my advice is to politely decline.�

Pretty sure being set up by an ex would be a no-go for me. My longest boyfriend to date has made it clear he still plans on marrying me—or at least being at my wedding, if it isn’t to him… Setting me up on a date? Can you say sabotage?

“Relatives: Isn’t it fascinating what people who love us think we’ll love? This outlet has all the problems of a friend fix-up with the added problems of gossip and the inability to ever go home for Thanksgiving if it doesn’t work out. On the other hand, presumably they do love you and will have to answer to your mom if they come up with a real loser.�

My mom actually is one of the best matchmakers I know. Three of the couples she’s set up have exchanged vows. She’s got impeccable taste too… maybe I should be putting her to work on this…