Kiss the toads
So I have this friend, K. K is 25. She’s a SoCal original – Tall, strawberry blonde, blue eyes. And a virgin—in the most innocent sense of the word. To the group’s knowledge, K has kissed one boy. That was in eighth grade.
Don’t get me wrong, K is great…but the poor girl has got standards that are out of this world, not to mention higher than her…
Mr. Perfect has to be taller than her, he must be intelligent, “hot�—per her discretion, have a nice body, he must be sweet, he’s content with waiting for her until they’re married, his favorite drink is coke and rum, he volunteers at the humane society, his favorite tortilla chip must be Doritos BBQ cheddar, he plays rugby, he swing dances and he absolutely must be familiar with all seven seasons of The Golden Girls.
I get it. She wants to find Mr. Right. But what really kind of sucks is that she doesn’t spend time with straight men. Ever. Saying she’s playin’ it safe is an understatement. She’s delusional. She’s in a female and gay man infested time warp and still thinks she’s ripe and seventeen and acts as if this dream man is going to come waltzing up to her (parents’) front door and they’re going to ride off into the sunset on a white stallion to start their fairy tale together.
She’s so preoccupied with ripping apart every guy she meets that she’s never going to give a slew of great guys a chance. What’s more is she won’t have the priceless benefits of experience that inevitably come by doing the dirty work and sifting through enough toads to really appreciate the right guy when he does come along…
November 25th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
[...] someone who follows intuition about each date and goes from there. I think it’s necessary to kiss the toads to figure out what you ultimately want out of a man, a relationship and yourself. Did You Enjoy [...]
December 10th, 2007 at 1:33 am
[...] point because I either make them jump through so many hoops in an attempt to prove to myself that they’re not right for me, or I tell myself lies and make up fake dramas surrounding them and our relationship, become [...]