I want a new drug
Why is it that some men are like a drug? The guy I am currently seeing does things to me. Before seeing him, I get an anxiety comparable to the after-effects of three double espressos from Starbucks. When we’re together, I’m either euphoric—I get wrapped up in the folds of his presence. Or a volatile mess— the two of us together are too proud, stubborn, and egotistical and in short, a train wreck. When I come off the high of being around him, it’s a low like I’ve never known. It’s an exhaustive, zombie-like coma. And when I go an extended period of time without seeing him, I go through what could only be described as a state of withdrawal. Maybe the drug isn’t so much the man, but the infatuation with the man. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s a challenge—something I haven’t had in quite some time. In either case, I want a new drug.
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