Dating Outlook

Everyone has them. Some probably have more than others. When I am dating, usually there are certain things that are immediate turnoffs for me. I’m talking about deal breakers.

For some, it may be that a person is a kleptomaniac, has a kid, or perpetually smells like patchouli. Undeniably, one of my deal breakers would include the use of marijuana. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a pothead hater. On the contrary, I’ve rather enjoyed my rare encounters with folk who dabble in the dance with Mary Jane. Honestly, it’s not really so much a judgment thing as it’s just that I prefer to be in a relationship with someone who is completely lucid the majority of the time he and I are together. Am I being unreasonable or prudish? I don’t think so…but I guess I’m kind of biased.

This has never really been an issue with the men I’ve dated. Anyone who had smoked in the past made a point not to do it while they were in a relationship with me. That is, until recently. Thankfully, the lawyer I’m seeing was upfront and honest that he’d smoke on occasion and asked if I have a problem with it. I thought about it for a second and replied that I wasn’t really sure. The truth is, since it’d never been an issue, I guess I had never really thought about it. Fast forward to just a couple hours later when his friends walk through the door drunk and start smoking an arm’s length away from me and I soon came to the realization that I am definitely NOT okay with it.

Maybe it’s the smell, maybe it’s the fact that it’s illegal or maybe it’s the fact that this guy I’m seeing is a lawyer(!) and supposed to be a compass in situations like this. Right? Instead, it just all seemed so inconsistent and maybe part of the reason I was so not okay with it was the fact that I get incredibly irritated with inconsistency. Are you upholding the law or not? Do you take your job seriously at all? So, which laws are okay to break and which are flexible? If you ever get married, are some of the vows you take going to be flexible too? I can see it now, “Yeah honey, the fidelity thing…okay, whatever …but honor and obey…yeah, I’m going to have to ignore that one.� Oh, the joys of being a woman of who overanalyzes. I’m having flashbacks to the polygraph once again… “Have you ever dated someone who smoked marijuana?� I’m sensing a theme here. What are your deal breakers? Share with me, let’s get a forum going!

xx
Sandy