STI’s are back!!
Friday, March 16th, 2007A post or two ago I started talking about Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and today I stumbled (while doing some research … not just a “hey, I’m going to go play a game, whoa, now I know how to live with Herpes!” kind of stumbling) across a Q & A “article” that made me stop & read it. I thought that I should share it with ya’ll!
Q: I was diagnosed with genital herpes in 2001. My outbreaks sometimes have me in tears for days. How can I try to have a healthy sex life when it’s so easy to pass along this disease? I feel it’s not fair to my partner, and having it makes me feel like I’m not worthy of healthy sex or that I shouldn’t be experimenting with anything because I’m “dirty” now.
A: Forty five million Americans, or nearly one in five people, have the same illness. Another 100 million Americans have oral herpes, aka cold sores, though there is far less of a stigma associated with that strain. All chronic STDs are the result of a virus that can never be eliminated from the body; however, many options exist for managing them.
A healthy, happy sex life is absolutely possible with herpes. However, you must believe it to make it happen. Reach out for support so you can begin getting rid of the shame you feel. Your statements that you feel “not worthy” and “dirty” are powerful feelings. Visiting a therapist can help you accept your condition and focus on moving forward. There are also online support groups for people with herpes. They can offer excellent information and connect you with others going through similar struggles.
Aside from giving your mind the attention it deserves, a healthy lifestyle will help minimize herpes episodes. Getting enough sleep, eating right, and minimizing stress all go a long way toward keeping breakouts to a minimum. Several medications on the market also help.
Negotiating sex with a new partner simply requires honesty. Everyone has something they don’t like about their sexuality or their past. You should be clear about your diagnosis at the beginning of a relationship and if your partner is not willing to work around it, then he is not the right person for you. Arming yourself with the facts will help the conversation go more smoothly. Though there is a small risk of passing on the virus when you don’t have any lesions (via a process known as shedding), studies show that consistent condom use largely minimizes this risk. When you have a visible herpes outbreak, sexual activity should be avoided entirely. This includes oral sex too, since herpes can be passed from the mouth to the genitals.
A good way to begin easing your way back to a regular sex life may be to check out online dating sites for people with chronic STDs. Though you don’t have to limit yourself to them forever, it’s a good place to start.
