Dating Outlook

Do you believe in soulmates? Are you on the hunt for the elusive “one” for you?

Do you nitpick your dates to convince yourself he/she is completely wrong for you? Or do you want to be part of a couple so badly you look beyond his irritating habit of picking his teeth during dinner or her neurotic tendencies…

Signs your date isn’t The One lists a few ways to put your problems and differences into perspective and decide whether or not you’re being met with a dealbreaker.

Show of hands, get ready–random poll!– Who has seen the movie/read the book, “The 5 people you meet in Heaven?”…….. okay, good… well, this really has nothing to do with that other than the fact that the article is called,
The 6 people you meet in bars“…and I found it to be hilarious.

If you’re a frequent bar-goer, be on the lookout for these six who are guaranteed to either make or break your happy hour experience.

And remember, if you don’t meet any of them, chances are you’re one of them… which one are you?

I’m curious…

A few weeks ago I touched on how “picking up” is considered an art? Well apparently there’s a little bit of depth to the theory.

If you’re dating inept or are like me and just curious in how these “artists” think, perform and exhibit their art, I recommend checking out How to win over any woman.

Being on the other side (ahem, that is, being a woman), I think there is a lot of value in the responses to both
“What’s the biggest mistake guys make when they’re approaching a woman?” and
“What’s an easy way for guys to be more attractive to women?”

These tips seem like no-brainers, but I’m telling you–they’re priceless! And yet worth every penny-but ha! here’s the really great thing–they’re free. So go to the site and read up. You might just learn something you could put into action this weekend. Maybe even tonight?

I’m always interested to hear about new and innovative ways of dating… I thought all of them were kind of washed up and old but just when I thought I’d heard everything… I stumbled upon “The Quiet Party.”

If you reside in either NYC or San Francisco, you might have heard of it… apparently, spoken word is forbidden at these organized “parties,” and potential daters must communicate by writing only. The only way to get around this rule is to go to a “whispering area” where participants are allowed to finally break the silence.

Contact info for hosting a party in your city, FAQ’s and more information can be found at Quiet Party

I did a little browsing on the ol’ net and was intrigued when I found “10 Ways Women Judge You,” a list, or more accurately, a do’s and don’ts guide for acing the first date and beyond if you’re a guy in search for an LTR (long term relationship) or anything longer than a weekend rodeo…

As a woman, I have to say, it’s on target with what I look for initially… check it out at 10 Ways Women Judge You

Some say age is just a number. I don’t know if I agree with that, but I can’t really argue with it. May/December relationships have always been around. Men have dated and married younger women for years. However, recently there’s been a trend of women pursuing much younger men as well. Demi and Ashton seem to be doing just fine.

I’ve noticed this happening more and more with close friends of mine. Granted, these women are young themselves—only mid-twenties, but they’re dating men who are barely the legal drinking age.

At first, two of my close girlfriends in particular had issues with the age gap even though it was only three or four years.

Maybe it’s a maturity thing that bothered them in the beginning. What then, is the appeal? Perhaps it would be the elusive fountain of youth? In theory, if these women continue to date someone younger than themselves, they’ll be able to keep their “real age�? in perpetuity. Maybe they like being a teacher…or starting over with a fresh, young man without baggage… Or maybe Freud was onto something with the whole Oedipus theory… or maybe they genuinely find happiness in spending time with the other person despite the gap–now there’s a thought.

The website, “Dating for Beginners,�? explores the double standard, the pros and the cons that are part of the “age gap.�? Check it out.

http://www.forbeginners.info/dating/age-gap.htm

xx

Sandy

The internet is great. Where else can you get an easy access how-to manual on how to date right at your fingertips?

Howtodate.wetpaint.com touches on subjects some other sites might shy away from such as the lowdown on dating coaches (what exactly is speed dating?), dating horror stories (we’ve all been there and we can all relate …or lament), and even gives advice on how to break-up the “right�? way. It is filled with commentary from “real�? people in the dating scene who weigh in on controversial topics like sex on the first date or how to decide who pays at the end of the date—thankfully, paying for sex on the first date is not one of those topics…

This site is definitely worth checking out – Howtodate.wetpaint.com
Enjoy!

xx

Sandy

Most people I know have a “type�? of person they tend to date: the jock, the comedian, the blonde bombshell, the bohemian, the morose loner.

Recently, I came to the realization that I too have a type. I took a quick inventory of the men I’ve dated and have found that for the most part, they are pretty intelligent individuals—that, or they’re musicians… or both.

Four were National Merit Scholars, one a Truman Scholar, all with full tuition scholarships to their university of choice. Two are currently riding out their law/grad school roller-coasters at Ivy League schools.

On the other hand, I’ve dated five guitarists, two pianists, and two guys even composed their own songs. Those are really the only things they collectively have in common… music and IQ.

I was interested to see what other types are out there. I decided to check out http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/141_dating_girl.html for the low down on types of men to steer clear of… and for the men, a lighter albeit more ridiculous “10 Types of Women to Avoid�? at http://inventorspot.com/dolls_to_avoid

Maybe my “type�? isn’t so cut and dry—or perhaps I don’t have one at all. Enjoy!

Instead of an actual Strange Date posted today, we’re going with Strange Personal Ad creator.

Mine would read something like this: “Cuddly librarian seeks flexible scientist for trivial pursuit, color coordinating, and digging wells. Must not live with mom, enjoy Fresca, and be tolerant of gold fish. Your own car a plus. Alfred E. Neuman lookalikes need not apply.”

Create yours and share with me!

dates, personal ad creator, strange personal ads

Are you supposed to plan your next date? Are you stuck for ideas? Check out this post - a list of date ideas.

* go to the zoo or aquarium - bring your camera and take silly pictures with your date and the animals

* see a play, musical, movie, dance performance or concert - but this makes makes it hard to have a conversation so it may not be the greatest if it’s your first date or if you both like to talk

* visit an art gallery - laugh at the fact that you could probably paint like Jackson Pollock if you really wanted

* play board or card games - bring yourself back to your childhood and break out the games, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like at least one board game!

* go camping - if you’re ready to hang out overnight, head out for a hiking & camping trip. Enjoy the fact that you can’t shower and your date is about to see you at your crunchiest!

* check out mini-golfing - no one has to be good at it, the worse you are, the more fun the game will be!

* play in the rain together - this is really fun … have you ever puddle-jumped in the rain? Played tag in the rain? Just danced around in the rain? Try it out - it makes you feel great!

* go for a drive - gas may be expensive but it would be worth sitting in the car and being able to talk while driving around … get lost, find your way out and have fun with it!

* rent a movie or just watch TV together - if you & your date want something low-key, watch the boob-tube. You can talk during it, mute the commercials, pause for bathroom breaks, and enjoy yourself comfortably.

* go to a playground - talk about fun; make yourself feel 8-years-old again. Play on the slides (get shocked when you land at the bottom), play on the swinging bridge, push your date on the swings (don’t get stuck in the baby-swing though!) and laugh until your stomach hurts.

* find a coffee place - look for a place that is going to be quiet, sit on a couch, read the newspaper together and enjoy a cup of hot (or cold) liquid together!

dates, men, women, romance, dating, Portland

Don’t know what to say to your date tonight? Just plug his or her name into the Flattery Generator and create your own script to take with you!

Have a bad date? Get revenge on the person who set you up!

Plug the money you are paying with into Where’s George in hopes of tracking it!

Mordant Orange, cartoons, goldfish, butt print art, dates, flattery generator, Revenge Lady, Where’s George

I haven’t been on a “real” date in years. I haven’t had someone ask me to dinner, pick me up, take me out, take me to the movies, and then drop me off afterwards yet. All this, and I’m already nervous about a “potential” first date. In order to prepare myself for this first date, I enlisted the Internet’s help and was completely overwhelemd by the number of first date “do’s & don’ts” that there are. The two that were my favorite were both written by college newspapers - and as a recent college grad (2004) I felt more comfortable reading these ones than the ones written by 45-year-old divorcee’s.

So, without further ado, I have pulled the 10 first date do’s & don’ts from Gretchen Ross & Jeremy Plezer of University of Illinois at Springfield! (My notes are in bold after their “rules.”)

1. Don’t dress like you just woke up or like you are attending church. Okay, so no pajama-dates and no Sunday-morning church dates. I can handle showering and looking decent but still feeling comfortable.

2. Don’t let the conversation be one-sided with awkward pauses. I talk too much. I know I talk too much. This could end up leaving my date on the one-sided awkward pause date. There are heaps & piles of “safe” things to talk about, college sports (the only real sports I know anything about), jobs, the town we live in, mutual friends. I’ll bring a roll of duct tape in my purse just in case I get verbal diahhrea. The authors of this article say to avoid bringing up sex, politics & religion, but I had a great conversation with a guy last night about religion, so if you’re comfortable, I say go for it!

3. Don’t remained glued to the cell phone the entire date. Who talks on their cell phone on a date? Seriously, I think that’s just weird. I don’t even talk on the cell phone for long periods of time when I’m with friends. It’s rude!

4. Don’t bring up past relationships. I agreee. On this first date, your new date doesn’t need to know all about your past. I wouldn’t shy away from mentioning that I was divorced, if I was asked about my past, but I’m not going to be offering up any details on why I’m no longer married on this first date! “Enjoy the moment of spending time with someone new.”

5. If you are at a meal, don’t order for the other person. Did you hear that, potential first date guy? Don’t order for me! I think this is just a strange custom. I have never been with friends who have even ordered for me and would be bothered if a guy started picking out my food. I am an adult, you don’t have to do this for me.

6. Don’t overdo the PDA. What? On the first date? You mean I can’t keep my hand in your back pocket all night long? Who does this stuff on a FIRST date? I’ll respect your space and I assume that you’ll respect mine! As if the entire night weren’t awkward enough as it is, back off unless you ask first and I okay it!

7. Don’t ask or assume that because you are on the first date that you are automatically in a relationship. “A first date is like an audtion for a play or a job interview.” You are looking at potential here, not immediately husband (or wife) material. One date does not constitute a relationship!

8. Don’t set extremely high goals for the date. Your number one priority on your first date should be to get to know the person you’re out with more than you did before. Most of the time this will be easy - but you don’t have to plan everything down to the last milliseconds to have fun and get to know someone. “Hang out … get to know the person” and have fun with it.

9. Don’t be late. Number 9. Oh, why isn’t this number 1? I am a stickler with time. If I were a super-hero, my name would be “Perpetually Early Girl.” I hate being late and I hate it when people are late if they’re meeting me for something. Being on time shows a person that they are important to you - and who doesn’t like to be made to feel important? (especially on a first date) If you have to, set your clocks ahead so you’re early, even! Impress me, be there before me!

10. Don’t be fake. Be. Yourself. You were probably acting just like your own self when your date asked you out, and they want to get to know that person, not your “cool alter ego.” Your true personality will make an appearance even if you don’t want it to, so why bother faking it? I am much more attracted to a man who is confident in himself (yet still modest) and who he is, rather than someone trying to put on a front towards me. If you’re afraid that your sarcasm or your honesty might be too brutal at time, just tone down your personality; it’s still your personality that’s coming out, just not as strong!

dating, lists, personal, men, women, love, kiss, dates, first dates, awkwardness, how-to, to-do, time management, University of Illinois

I mentioned in my previous entry that I didn’t join a dating site because I had friends who were willing to set me up with their male friends if I expressed interest. I never actually said anything, but apparently I had a “desperate” stamp on my forehead and they read it loud & clear. However, if you don’t have friends with single male friends, or don’t have the in-person connections, there are millions of dating sites out there you could join to get to know someone in your area. I found the top six online dating sites through About.com and thought that I’d share them here. I don’t indorse any of them, as I haven’t used them, but everyone needs resources, right?

1. Match.com - According to Match.com, “Love is complicated, match is simple”. Match.com is one of the biggest online dating sites, claiming that almost 250,000 people meet that special someone each year on their site. They also claim to have inspried twice as many marriages as any other online dating site.

2. Yahoo! Personals - Yahoo! Personals claims you’ll “Find better first dates, more second dates!” Focusing on compatability, Yahoo! Personals aims to provide a combination of individual choice, quality matches, and a top-notch user experience to make the most of your personal time.

3. EHarmony.com - eHarmony is the online dating site for people who are “ready to find the love of their life.” eHarmony offers a personality profile that scores your preferences on 29 key dimensions critical to relationship success. The profile is then used to help you find your true love.

4. America’s Internet Dating - “America’s Internet Dating is the love spot. The dating site offers you a fun and safe way to meet that special someone. Signing up is simple, free, and fun to do. It takes no time and your social life will soar.”

5. True.com - True.com believes in “safety first” and offers the most extensive marital and criminal background checks on the Internet. They also claim to have the only scientific-based compatibility profile to measure 99 important relationship factors.

6. U-Singles.com - Don’t let love pass “U” by! This is a new site offering millions of singles to choose from. You can search for a match based on criteria such as looks, hobbies, location, age, interests, religion and income all in the privacy of your own home. There’s nothing like logging on to find out that “You’ve Got Mail” from someone interesting.

dating, finding a date, personal ads, online dating sites, Match.com, Yahoo personals, EHarmony, America’s Internet Dating, True.com, U-singles.com, dating resources