Blech
I surprised myself this weekend.
I haven’t hung out with G since the night at his parent’s mansion and he kissed me out of nowhere. So fine. Whatever. Except that he insists on emailing me during the work week several times a day and asks if I’d be interested in hanging out with him and his friends who are coming to visit the following weekend. By the way, he thinks it’s time to see me drunk so he’ll recruit another to drive and we’ll just have a grand old time… okay..? He asks this on Monday and continues in shared dialogue with me throughout the rest of the week so I can analyze and dwell for five, six, seven days! Instead of just oh, two or something more reasonable… and Yadda yadda yadda…weekend comes, don’t hear a peep out of him. GAH!
And I tell myself, Sandy, sweetie. Sit down. He’s just not that into you. Say it with me. Honey, he’s…okay, he’s just…HE’s JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. Read the book. Or listen to the audio…it’s good.
And I know this. What’s funny is that I’m not all that into him either. Which is why I’m surprised. So, did I underestimate my feelings for him? Do I like him more than I think?
What’s worse is that I was helping a friend move all weekend. I was legitimately and quite genuinely busy most of the weekend. And when I was done I was tired–and am still sore actually.
Sure I could’ve sort of made time for him. But what’s sick is that I think I just wanted him to call because I wanted to be missed or something and honestly, part of me wanted to turn him down for hanging out and who knows, maybe I even wanted him to beg me a little. What can I say?
I know that’s terrible. What I typed right there, yes. I know. But I think it’s the truth. I really just missed the attention, that’s all. Sigh. I know that’s lame. Maybe even a little pathetic. But I know we all get to that point sometimes. And it sucks for a bit.
It’s times like these when I miss being a relationship person—I’m kind of an all or nothing girl I’m beginning to realize—and I’ll often wonder if leaving my ex-boyfriend was the right decision. I know it was for the time, but I can’t help but wonder what would be different if our paths crossed again.
By the way, he wants to see me in two weeks…did I tell you that? Dun dun dun.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Ok, I’ve been keeping quiet for probably a little longer than I should. But here it goes: Guys who really know what they’re doing, wether it’s known or not, have 1 objective aside from the standard “get the digits” thing. And it’s this: us guys must get the girl thinking about us - especially when we’re not around. I’ve been told that people fall in love with another when they’re not around each other. When we do good things, it creates a positive effect on the woman. These positive effects linger longer after we’ve dropped the woman off at her door step (with a kiss of course). Hence, she’s thinking about us, positively, when we are not in her presence. The next time we see that woman, she’s, “far more into us” at that point, comparable to when she was when we last saw each other. The more you think about him, the more you’re going to want him. I gotta admit, it’s weird that he wants to schedule a date - 2 weeks away. But, I’m just giving my 2 cents…
December 10th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
You’re great. That makes perfect sense. I just had an aha! moment. Oh, and the two weeks is actually my ex-boyfriend who wants to see me when I’ll be back in the midwest for a week… not G… although, I did hear from G this morning actually. Weird (sarcasm). G wants to “hang out soon.” Huh… we’ll have to see… two can play at this game…
February 16th, 2008 at 7:25 am
Why do we always seem to think that there is the one?
What motivates our desires?
Seems to me it has more to do with CHOICE….and there is the rub.
What if choice was removed and we were simply matched with somebody from birth, as some cultures do….a lot of the unions last and last, because over time, people simply ‘become’ accustomed to one another, an make allowances and accomodations for eachother. I don’t think it’s necessary to constantly point out differences, looking for similarities is a far more worthwhile pastime…..Opposites attract, you say? That only works in the world of physics….similarities attract human beings to one another…not differences, and this, I believe, is what choice is all about. Finding that common ground. For women, looking for body chemistry and electricity, this a difficult problem, but really, they hold all the cards in the modern dating game. Men only get to be ‘choosy’ under exceptional circumstance, and it tends to turn them into ‘womanizers’ when this happens. The majority of people in this modern world will marry or live with the first one that comes along who meets their ‘requirments’, only to find that so many years down the track, people change.
If we had no unwritten social tabboos against multiple partners, all this would not occur. Most of the choosiness that stems from relationships of all kinds is not deliberate…it’s instinctive. A the secretiveness of the whole thing comp[licates matters enourmously. We just do not like to declare just who we have slept with.
So, the upshot is that secretiveness and choosing is instinctive. Women are wired for this, men are not. Hence, the ability to choose is taken from men as a matter of course, and they are left to wade through all of these wierd and wonderful ‘things’ that one is supposed to do/have/say….OPENESS, I feel is the key to it all, a willingness to say, “THIS is what I want.” Once we get to the stage where you can actually admit this in public, a relationship on some level is the result. Until then, it’s a lot a secretive silliness, attempts to hide what you REALLY want from somebody, and using all the words in the world to DESCRIBE it…Sometimes, what you WANT is not what you get, and, having used all sorts of ‘tests’, (Does he have a car?, is he nice to animals?) we end up with something other than what we WANT….and are STUCK….
No wonder western relationships fail…..2 from three marriages will end in divorce. We should learn not to put all the ‘choosiness’ in the hands of one gender, and become more open about exactly what it is that we WANT…
February 16th, 2008 at 7:41 am
Have a look at “Groundhog Day”, the film with Bill Murray. It takes ‘choosiness’ and warps it to extremes, because the leading lady of the film is so wrapped up in what she thinks she wants, and is confronted by her match in a manner that leaves her REPULSED….Bill Murray….trapped in a timeflow of his own making, must become the PERFECT person, a man that the entire town must embrace to them….and he has to do it over and over again until he gets it absolutely ‘right’……DEEP film that one….and a great laugh at the foibles of human relationships!
February 19th, 2008 at 1:47 am
Just looking at the “Blech” post again…..a word LEPT out at me….a phrase in fact….
“His parents MANSION….”
You did say that here, we could experience some “not so humble opinions”….well, here goes…..
If he did not have parents with a mansion, would you be interested at all? Would he really have met your good self under any circumstances?
You must be a pretty girl, otherwise, why would he keep emailing?
Lets be honest….I think his chances of a relationship with you are more to do with his assets than with him as a person….if he possessd nothing at all, if his parents were not in the socially “acceptable” catagory, would all of this be so?
Ask yourself these questions, and when you get an honest opinion of this man, then, and only then will you be truthful to yourself……
Too many western girls judge the man by his bank balance, and what HE can provide, rather than being EQUAL and getting all this for themselves….Bit too honest for you?
Your lack of a reply is the best indicator of all………………………..
February 19th, 2008 at 1:54 am
For the moment at least, thats ONE - NOTHING for the men of this world….
The lowest form of existence on this earth is an UGLY, socially unacceptable and poor WOMAN…..she is the victim of this awaful cult of the celebrity that most suffer from.
Are YOU a “perfect” person?
February 22nd, 2008 at 8:04 am
Still no comment in response?…..I think I have proven my point……….
March 1st, 2008 at 8:38 am
I think you have just had an “Aha” moment in reverse……