Dating Outlook

Thank God for men who know how to treat women well. I don’t know if it can be attributed to the wise women or kind gentlemen in their lives that teach them the delicacies that are often taken for granted.

Simple things that a few generations ago were considered common-sense gestures such as opening a car door (or any door for that matter!), going all out by ordering wine, an appetizer and getting dessert, or waltzing her around a dance floor are fine qualities in a man that are becoming obsolete.

It’s not that I cannot take care of myself –the fact of the matter is just that I believe every feminist can have a traditional side to her as well and shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to be impressed and being absolutely floored, flattered—and she might not admit it, but even fall a little—when a guy does go all out for her.

Calling all ego-maniacs: If a woman with absolutely no self-esteem, worth or integrity is what you’re after, I would recommend trying the following recipe of ingredients the next time you’re pursuing a lass or are out on a date.

Trying to impress this girl isn’t nearly as important as maintaining the image you’re trying to portray, so be sure to talk yourself up…to her, the waitress, anyone within earshot, really.

Be competitive with anything and everything and when she reveals her lack of skills in bocce ball be sure to tell her not to talk to you.

When she brings up something about a friend you’ve never met, ask her if this friend is cute. This will make her heart soar.

Underestimate her intelligence and call her naïve. Ignore her in front of your friends. Make her wait for you. By the phone, for a date or for you at Guitar Center while you play two hours of Hendrix solos.

Talk about the numbers you got last night, the looks of other women in her presence, and go ahead, check them out, gawk or ogle them for goodness sakes. Who can blame you? You’re just being honest. You’re a man full of testosterone…what does she expect?

Don’t worry. No confident women will tolerate this behavior for long so they’ll be weeded out immediately. Sit back, relax and wait for her spinelessness to be eating out of the palm of your hand.

If you enjoy reading other peoples’ accounts of first and blind dates as much as I do, indulge by checking out Steve Mazzucchi’s log of five dates throughout the course of a month in “Make me a match?� at
Make me a match?
And if you’re interested in hearing from a woman’s point of view, be sure to read “Set me up with a single guy!� by Amy Spencer at Set me up with a single guy!

Enjoy!

Sandy

Some call it doing the “switcheroo.â€? Most are blindsided when it happens. Have you ever dated a serial monogamist? Me neither. Thank God. At least, I don’t think I have.

I have two close girlfriends who fall into this category. It’s a sticky situation. You’re dating someone …the two of you get comfortable together… maybe a little too comfortable…and one of you falls out of love… not that you’re looking elsewhere necessarily, but suddenly you’re stuck. Stuck in a relationship with one person, but entertaining the charms of another. And it happens.

The switcheroo. What once may have been platonic feelings turn to something more and you leave your former lover in the dust not knowing what hit him.

It’s not that you dislike your former mate per se. Or even that you were unhappy with him. It’s that you found something else in this new person that was lacking in the last relationship.

I call it chain-linking. One relationship is never really cut off until you’ve latched onto someone else in a chain link and drop the last guy. Does chain-linking count as cheating? Even if nothing physical emerges until after the break? Weigh in. What do you think?

I pulled this article from an Ann Landers column I’ve had for probably over a decade… I thought I’d share it with you. I think anyone who has ever been romantically involved with someone can relate to this… we all have times when we need to be brought back down to earth. Enjoy!

xx

Sandy

Love or Infatuation?

Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows - one day at a time.

Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.

How far would you go for love?

Someone I consider a mentor of mine told me a story last week about how during her move to the opposite coast, she met someone. Someone special. In Montana. On a cattle drive.

It was a whirlwind of a romance. Four days in, he asked her to marry him. Instead, she moved in to see if they could give it a real shot. For the better part of a year, they lived together. Time after time again he would ask her to marry him.

Finally, she blew up and told him not to ask ever again, or she would leave. Months passed and she began to really entertain the idea of possibly marrying him. That was when she began to realize she couldn’t. Once it became clear to her that she couldn’t and wouldn’t, she did leave.

I love this story and I admire her for the simple fact that she took an unbelievable leap of faith. She took a chance. When many of her close friends may have been questioning her sanity, she was merely not passing up the chance to have true love. I wonder what opportunities we pass up because we let things like “rational� thinking or “logic� get involved. In my opinion, rationality is a false sense of balance or what is “normal.� And, well, logic has no place in love.

How far would you go for love? Would you give love enough of a chance that you would just put your dreams, your plans or your life on hold?

I hope I do.